left-behind feline.

So there's this apartment in my complex, it's on the first floor right next to the stairs that go up to the tennis courts which lead to the pool, etc. - a path often traveled. This apartment was particularly interesting because of how well they had decorated their quaint little patio with plants, outdoor storage, weird iron wall plaques, etc. Not only this but they had 3 cats and a big golden retriever, all stuffed into one small apartment. It was these animals that I'd always see passing by on my way to the gym, sometimes one cat in particular was out - a orange tabby cat - and it would meow at me sometimes and I'd pat it's head and continue on my way. These cats were free spirits, they did what they wanted.

Then one day I went to the gym and the wall plaques and elaborate storage devices were gone. The family of pets had moved out. My heart sank a little, but rested assured that they had moved onto bigger and better things.
And it was later in this same day that as I was getting out of my car just home from work I noticed a orange tabby cat sitting on those stairs that lead to the gym. The cat looked at me and meowed super loud multiple times. I thought, 'Could it be that this family of pets has left one lonely cat behind because he was out and about and missed the moving process all together??' I walked over to pet it and it sort of shunned away from me. This made me think this was not the same cat I had grown to love all those gym-filled mornings and I continued on my way. I told Robert about my encounter and that I thought I should leave some tuna out or something but he didn't believe it could be the same cat, and the more we talked about it, so did I.

Until within one week I saw that same loud meowing cat about eight times...and soon I started seeing cat food piles hidden in bush corners or at the top of the stairs. It seemed I wasn't the only one who thought this cat was alone and most likely starving. I felt satisfied in other's achievements of sparing some cat food for this left-behind feline.

I hadn't seen the cat in a while until this morning as I was walking to the parking garage. It trotted by me with a dead mouse hanging from it's jaw, the cat looked skinny and ramped, but still friendly somehow. He walked right past me like something out of a movie, like we were the same him and I. And I couldn't help but chuckle to myself and think, good for him.

the end.

falling into fall.

circa October 2006

Every year around this time (well for the past 2 years...) as the cold weather happens sooner in the day and the shadows cast richer by 3 o'clock I revert back to when this was all new to me. Back to when life as I knew it was changing, and boy I welcomed it with open arms.

I remember blogging less and less and keeping what I said about him vague and mysterious as to hope no one would figure it out. It was something so special and so sacred to me that I just couldn't express my feelings if I tried.

On the 26th of October 2006 I first mentioned him:
"...and if i could make one wish come true right now, it would be for this frustration to end. a pleasant yet aggravating surprise last night, on his little skateboard down the street and then sitting so far away. it's almost like the fact that this would be worth it, that is making me stand across the room. quiet as ever."

It was my first clue as to his interest, but I refused to believe it.

On the 29th of November 2006 I wrote:
"...on friday, we did the unthinkable. with disneyland passes tomorrow there will be more."
It was our first date. It was unthinkable because it actually happened. Little did I know that 2 years later we'd be on our honeymoon at that time.

Finally on the 3rd of January 2007 I wrote:
"...it's real, it's fun, it's genuine, it's slow, and it's just what I needed/wanted. oh, ro-bear."

It was final, my heart had been stolen. I was his forever, and I knew it. Even though the thought of him and I being official boyfriend and girlfriend still freaked him a little(hence us dating for so long).

We were there to stay. and so we stayed and here we are. forever.


So this is fall to me, a time to wear new coats, new boots and old faithful scarfs. Decorate your home in rich pumpkin colors and admire the power of this world in the storms and magnificent clouds. Also, enjoy freezing empty nights at Disneyland with the love. And remembering it was this miracle of fall into winter that brought us together.
Disneyland, December 2006

love you shmoops.

go away.

So if you see me within the next 5-7 days and I'm covering my mouth and/or you just can't figure out what the heck is all over my lips/chin. They're fever blisters...so cut me some slack.
Apparently fever blisters are often a reaction of sun-poisoning...yeah, turns out me getting sunburned and then coming home and sleeping for 20+ hours, wasn't just me being tired from a day of fun and sun and Dramamine. And I Guess that bright red shiny face that turned into a lizard skin face that turned into a flaky itchy face simply wasn't enough for my body. Now I'm officially a monster that is addicted to Carmex.

Downfalls: It was really hard to eat my tomato-cheese-basil pizza at lunch.
Upfalls: I'll probably be on a strict diet of Yogurtland and Golden Spoon all weekend :)

Weird fact: for the past 3 years in a row, I've gotten cold-sores/fever blisters/whatever you call them around the August/September time of year. I even have one in the pictures of the day we got engaged to prove it.

Done rambling for now.

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My memory of 9/11:

I had just returned from early morning seminary. I walked in my front door and my brother, Trevor, shook his head and kept watching the TV. My mom, having heard me walk in the door ran out to me and hugged me and said, "Have you heard? It's just awful..." in that sweet motherly tone she does so well but it was tainted, tainted by fear and concern. It was her tone that assured me that this event was something that would change our lives and history in the United States. We watched together on her bed as my mother sat with a hand over her mouth and a furrowed brow for a good long while. There was nothing else to do or say.

That day I learned two things: 1. The wars that I had only read about in textbooks were still a very real thing; and 2. I could always rely on my mother's instinct in times of trouble. You see, I think everything is an emergency (heck, Robert choked up some water the other day and I nearly fainted) but it's my mother's instinct that has always been right on key. And when I saw her race up to me with that concern in her face (a concern I've seen very few times and good news has never come from it) and voice on the morning of 9/11...my heart sank.

How do you remember 9/11?