long distance memories.

so i've decided to delete my myspace. kinda strange. i've had the thing since i was 18 i believe it was...but now it's like i'm keeping it just to keep it, so it's leaving the realm of existence as of friday.

but in its honor i thought i'd pay tribute to some of my best memories by having one:

-many back and forth emails with melanie, the only way i stayed up to date with her provo life.

-getting to know my real life friends all that much better

-hours of stalking people we know with mel

-meeting the fenn's

-the day natalie asked me for my address, her way of telling me she was engaged

-meeting alex martinez, one of my favorite photographers of all time

-finally becoming un-addicted so i could love myself for who i was, not for my myspace

so there it is. adios myspace.

i ate chips and salsa and about 6 scoops of peanut butter for dinner tonight, let's just say i'm under alot of stress.

with the trip down memory lane i thought i'd pull out some old pictures for your enjoyment:

why did ANYONE ever let me dye my hair black?

who can forget grace's photoshoot...the night her myspace was born.
this shot was created during my about 4 week 80s streak.

ventura, black hair, pink sweatshirt and mega, the epitomy of 2004

oh momo nights, one of the many highlights of summer 2005.

happy tax day.

there's a lady in my office, she has a good office, one wall is pure windows overlooking most of HB and its my only way to see if the sun has come out yet today, and she constantly has her blinds closed. so strange, doesn't she know?

i love the smell of air conditioning, it might have something to do with the fact that i replaced my vent stuff a couple months ago and really haven't used my A/C since, but i love the smell. sometimes i breathe it too much and get a little dizzy, its true.

a presentation on tolstoy this thursday, on a story about a horse, i dont like horses. i always thought those girls in middle school who were like obsessed with horses were weirdos. but now because i've procrastinated all semester, i have to talk about horses, not puppies. :(

i got really sick of the radio yesterday, mostly because i found myself in-tune with pop culture, and that hasn't happened in years it seems, i like shrugging my shoulders when people ask me if i heard that so in so is being sued for this or that. i also really love not knowing any new celebrities. that being said, i turned to what i do know...yes yes yes here we go, nsync has got the flow.

i was looking at old photo albums at julie's house on saturday and i realized a few things, 1. how dare anyone let me out of the house with ginormous bangs that formed a triangle poof on my forehead, 2. i have lost weight as i've grown up and moved to the OC, my face is not as round as it once was and for this i am satisfied, and 3. if there's one constant in my life, its my family.

i feel like i've been through a million loops in my life of trying to find who i belong to or what kind of friendship groups suit me best, first there was the colorguard ladies, then there was the 2nd ward girls, then the kohl's krew, then mega and all her buddies, then the mountain people, then the originals from casa verde and old piersiders, and now the one and only roberto and all his funny characters (which are the cream of the crop i might add). and then there's my sisters who always make me laugh, and trevor who will always be more of a friend or father than a brother to me and mike who i don't talk to enough but know we're the most alike in alot of ways. and my momma, who knows everything.

that's where i want to be.


and off i go,
i just hope we don't talk about feminism in 20th century art again today, i felt like i should go see the bishop after last weeks lecture, another check in the "i will not be apart of the art world like this" box.

spring fling.

Spring is here! and living a normal life of not working on saturdays has proven to be truly wonderful. spring break was last week and i spent the whole week sleeping in, getting off early with rob and going to disneyland and/or running. but this week is going to be much different with rob's test coming up and me realizing i really shouldn't have slacked last week.

a couple weeks ago i watched rob surf for the first time! can you believe i've been dating him for over a year and he goes surfing at LEAST once a week, and i've never seen it? well, it was exciting, until my fingers turned purple because it was cold in newport that day...

i love newport <3

this past saturday was good too, a friend came to visit and we met rob with matt and trent in corona del mar and went hiking on the rocks! there were lots of ugly sea slugs, they are quite possibly the grossest things ever, and i touched an annennamomee...who actually knows how to spell that anyway?

i've been training training training for my 1/2 marathon on may 26th! saturday's 6 miles turned out to be a complete breeze thanks to my extreme amount of sourdough bread, cereal, tortillas and raisins, all excellent sources of carbohydrates i mind you...

i almost forgot! nick and cat were married on march 15th, 2008, we were lucky enough to be invited to the event at the Hyatt, and well nick and cat are beautiful, so how do you think the wedding was, really made me want a sit down dinner wedding, like i'll ever be able to afford it...but i miss seeing their faces around pierside already...
this is my roommate dre trying to be vain, but it turned out to be an adorable scene.

then it was easter! did you know that almost every family in huntington beach goes to the park on easter sunday? we didn't either, but the weather was hot inside so rob and i took a stroll...

Sometimes i feel like i can conquer the world somedays, other times i have serious difficulties going to class and putting on a pretty face and so i stumble over every other "le" ou "la" in french class and my teacher officially thinks i know nothing, but to tell y'all the truth, i know alot.
i'm officially obsessed with golden spoon, i can't get enough! this month they have island coconut AND banana...i just hope i get lucky when i go visit tonight. and every night this week.

so my life is somewhat dull, it revolves around my sisters wedding, seeing my family, the office, making dinner, and cuddling with my boyfriend. well this may seeeeem dull is what i should say, but i don't think i've ever been happier. and there's nothing that can change this. sometimes i look to my past and remember things from when i was like 18 and remember how strange that lifestyle was, i was trying SO hard to be someone, i dont even care who. but now i'm older, and though i don't hold grudges and hatred for any harsh feelings that i may have experienced and have since seperated myself from, i think its best that people move on. some things were just not meant to be.
only you can control your feelings and your happiness, only you can decide you're going to grow from trials, we can't rely on everyone around us for this, with few exceptions of our family and a couple close friends.
if you're having fun, you'll know it. if you're forcing a smile, you'll know it. wake up everyone, we all know how we truly feel, we all know how much of certain things we can take.
its like i told a close friend of mine who has rarely thought about himself for a while, "its time to be selfish."
this is really hard to express, basically:

you know what you're good at
you know what you love
you know who you love.
so go do it already, be selfish.