Oh me oh my. This is tough.
When EmmaJane was born it was a whirlwind of excitement. The hospital stay, the first bath, the first poop. I soaked it all in so deep. So deep in fact that I cried when it was time to leave the hospital. I didn't want the excitement to end.
But it didn't! Every new move, every new look, every new trick from her since has been such a crazy happy rush of joy. Just pure joy. So I haven't cried again that anything was coming to an end.
But now I face my BABY turning one. My very first birth, my very first little human I brought into this world is soon no longer going to be a baby. When people ask how old she is, I'll be able to count her age in years. Wow. So now this is hard once again.
A friend of mine who now has a 2 year old and a new baby mentioned she had been able to spend time with just her 2 year old and how it reminded her of old times when it was just them and she realized she missed it. And my heart broke into a million pieces. How am I ever going to first off let EmmaJane turn 2? Second, have another baby to share my love with? Life is insane.
When I had EmmaJane I experienced a new kind of emotion I've never had in my 27 years of life which was the overwhelming love I had for her. And man, now new emotions happen just about everyday from pride in her accomplishments to fear in her tumbles.
I love my little buddy I have in EmmaJane. We make a pretty good pair. And I know I will always have a special bond with her as my first born. She has so many great qualities that I swear I can already see the amazing potential she has, and what a beautiful person she will grow up to be.
And for me to have a hand on that? That's pretty amazing.
1 comment:
It is traumatic when your first baby turns one, I remember crying fairly regularly he week before jack turned one. It's hard to see you baby grow up and I had a hard time when I was pregnant with my second thinking of how it would no longer just be the two of us. But it gets easier. You get to have a baby again and having your second baby turn one is far less traumatic.
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